The Power of Gentleness & Pursuing a Life of Simplicity

Pursuing a life of gentleness and simplicity requires being intentional and slowing down enough to recognize what contributes to my life and what takes away. It involves being able to recognize that although we may be efficient and productive - we are becoming further from true presence, compassion and gentleness. 

Sometimes I find myself struggling to fit everyone and everything into my daily schedule. Spending time with friends, going to the gym, focusing on my career, future goals, research, work trainings, family time, rest and play. How can I be truly present and mindful when I am in such a hurry? I began to realize I found more value in simplicity. I found more purpose and more fulfillment from focusing on my faith, books, hobbies and my career but I still felt this pressure to keep up with the world, constantly finding validation based on achievements and felt constantly disappointed by those around me.

As humans, with increased access to social media and opportunities, we forget that we have limitations. When we are constantly overloaded with information we become overstimulated, impatient, feeling pressure trying to keep up with everyone around us and ourselves. We end up living life in a hurry because we find value in efficiency and productivity. The problem with living this way is we tend to project that onto others. We become impatient, eager, and put pressure on others because that's what we do to ourselves. We also become dependent on external validation when we pursue productivity and efficiency. 

Being raised in an environment and understanding societal values centered around productivity and efficiency contributes to your overall perspective of the world. “Nothing I do is enough, I’m always focused on the next thing, I have to achieve this, I have to get this done.” Over time this develops into anxiety. These symptoms include: 

• Fatigue

• Excessive worry 

• Finding worth based on what I do rather than who I am 

• Struggle with authenticity 

• Constantly focused on the future instead of being present 

• Lack of gratitude

Instead of feeling anxious about our limitations, it's a beautiful thing to accept that we cant do everything and be that person for everyone. Acceptance of limitation, forces us to make a decision based on free will. What do you want to do? What is the life you truly desire to live? (a lot of us can't answer that question). We become empowered to make the choice of the life you want to live. Acknowledging this comes with accepting that sometimes doing what is most purposeful means increased isolation, but rewarding in the long term. Sometimes, what seems fun is deceiving. Life requires sacrifice and it's freeing to know that as long as we slow down enough, engage in reflection and presence, we can empower ourselves to stop feeling so much pressure from the rest of the world. 

Some questions I began to ask myself:

Which decision is an investment in my future?

What is more fruitful (grace, love, hope, compassion)?

Which action actually matters?

How would I feel after making that decision?

Where/when do I feel most fulfilled?

We just have to slow down enough to truly ask ourselves: what is it that I am pursuing right now?

To live in our purpose is to limit distractions and the noise from what the world perceives as valuable. 

Things I ensure I take time for: walks, cooking, surfing, reading time to reflect and journal. 

It isn't busyness that's the problem - it's the lack of purpose and intention. Are you just doing what you love and what fills your soul - or are you busy just trying to keep up with the rest of the world? 

Pursuing a life of gentleness and simplicity involves sacrifices. Fridays turned into nights of research and going to the gym. It turned into intentional quiet mornings reading my bible and journaling. It turned into valuing a slow living lifestyle. It turned into remembering people's names and their story instead of business talk, being present with others instead of attempting to provide or gain something from them. In this process you start to value people for who they are - not what they do.

Pursuing a life of gentleness and simplicity you will begin to value:

Compassion over efficiency 

Value of creativity over consumption 

Value of presence over efficiency 

Value consistency instead of immediate gratification 

You begin to value what truly brings you joy over the approval of others. 

A reminder that you serve others by not doing what the rest of them are doing. You serve others by exhibiting self discipline, doing what may feel uncomfortable, and focusing on what really matters. You care for others by being gentle - not by being rushed. Gentleness cannot exist when you are in a hurry.